Six Stages of the Essay Writing Process 5

Stage Five: Revising

You’ve now got a piece of writing instead of a blank page and a sinking feeling in your stomach. You know that what you’re supposed to do now is revise it. But what does revising really mean? Revising literally means ‘re-seeing’. It is about fixing the bigger, structural problems and, if necessary, ‘re-seeing’ the whole shape of the piece. What this boils down to is finding places where you need to cut something out, places where you should add something, and places where you need to move or rearrange something. Revising doesn’t mean fixing surface problems such as grammar and spelling. That’s what’s called ‘editing’, and we’ll get to that in Stage Six.

Two-step revising

There are two quite different things you have to do when revising. It’s tempting to try to do them both at the same time, but it’s quicker in the long run to do them one by one. The first thing is to find the problems. The second thing is to fix them.

Finding problems

Coming to your own work fresh is one of the hardest things about writing. Somehow, you have to put aside everything you know about the background of the piece—what you intended, the real situation it might be based on—and react to what you’ve actually got on the paper. If you want to find problems before your readers do, you have to try to read it the way they will. That means reading it straight through without stopping, to get a feeling for the piece as a whole. Read it aloud if you can—it will sound quite different and you’ll hear where things should be changed.

Don’t waste this read-through by stopping to fix things, but read with a pen in your hand. When you come to something that doesn’t quite feel right, put a squiggle in the margin beside it, then keep reading. Trust your gut feeling. If you feel that there’s something wrong—even if you don’t know what it is—your readers will too. Time helps you come to a piece freshly. Even fifteen minutes— while you take the dog for a walk—helps you get some distance on what you’ve written.

If you’re working on a computer, I strongly recommend that you print it out (double-spaced) before you start revising. Things always look better on the screen—more like a finished product. But right now you don’t want them to look any better than they really are— you want to find problems, not hide them.

The first time you read the piece through, think only about these questions:

• Have I repeated myself here or waffled on?
• Is there something missing here?
• Are parts of this in the wrong order?

Fixing problems

After you’ve read the piece through, go back to each of the squiggles you made, and work out just why it didn’t sound right.

• If you repeated something, you need to cut.
• If you’re missing something, you’ll need to add.
• If parts are in the wrong order, you’ll need to move things around.

If the problem is something else—spelling or grammar, for example—leave it for the moment. You’ll fix those in Stage Six.

The Great Opening Sentence (GOS)

Now it is time to replace your ‘summary’ sentence with a GOS. A GOS should get your reader interested, but not give too much away. A good GOS will often make the reader ask ‘Why?’—then they’ll read on, to find the answer to that question.

There are two ways to come up with a GOS. One way is to find it. It may be embedded somewhere in your piece, already written—read through the piece, auditioning each sentence (or part of it) for a starring role as a GOS. Or you may find it somewhere else—a sentence in another piece of writing may suggest a GOS, or the sentence may be useable as a direct quote.
The other way to produce a GOS is to write it. Approach this in the same way as you got ideas in Step One—let your mind think sideways and don’t reject any suggestions. Write down all the openers you can dream up, no matter how hopeless they seem.

When you’ve got a page covered with attempts, circle the ones that seem most promising—or just a good phrase or word—and build on these. Assume that you’ll write many GOS attempts before you come up with a good one.

The Great Final Sentence (GFS)

It’s time to get that right, too. A GFS should leave the reader feeling that all the different threads of the piece have been drawn together in a satisfying way. A piece might end with a powerful final statement, or in a quiet way. In either case, the reader should feel sure this is the end—not just that there’s a page missing. As with the GOS, you may find your GFS hiding somewhere in what you’ve already written, or you may need to write one from scratch. Go about it in the same way as you did for the GOS.

Revising your essay

An essay will generally be aiming to give the readers information, or persuade them of something. As you read through your draft, you’ll be looking for changes that will help readers understand the information better or be more convinced by your argument. Once you’ve found the places that need fixing, you have to decide whether to cut, add or move.

Cutting

Here are some things that might need cutting:

• padding—too little information or argument taking up too much space;
• waffle—pompous or over-elaborate sentences with no real purpose;
• repeated ideas or information;
• irrelevant material (even if it’s brilliant or took you hours to write, it has to address the assignment);
• words, sentences or even whole ideas if the essay is longer than required.

Adding

Here are some things that might need be added:

• information that you’ve assumed but not actually stated (don’t rely on the reader to fill the gaps);
• a step in your argument that you’ve left out;
• details or explanations that show how your ideas relate to the assignment;
• connectors or pointers that smooth the flow between your ideas;
• the introduction and conclusion: this is the moment to compose a GOS and a GFS.

Moving

Here are some things that might need to be moved around:

• information that’s not in the most logical order (for example, from most important to least important, most distant in time to most recent, or any order that works and is consistent);
• information that’s important but is given to the reader at the wrong time (for example, background information that should go before the main argument);
• steps in an argument that are not, in the most logical order (an argument has to build up step by step, with the evidence for each step, and then a final, convincing statement);
• something that is good in itself but interrupts the flow;
• the arrangement in a twopronged essay; you may decide now that you made the wrong choice and need to rearrange some of the parts.

Other ways to revise

Sometimes cutting, adding or moving doesn’t quite do the trick. If that’s the case, put the draft away and simply tell someone (real or imaginary) what it’s about. Then tell them the contents of each paragraph, one by one. (You might start with words like ‘What I’m saying here is…’) Then write down what you’ve just heard yourself say. Those words will give you a clear, simply-worded version of your essay which you can then embellish with details from your written draft.

Revising ‘too much’

It’s easy to talk yourself out of the need to make changes. On a second reading some of the problems appear to melt away. You’ve got to remember, though, that most pieces don’t get a second reading.

Nevertheless, as you continue your revisions, you might decide you were right in an earlier version and you need to go back to that. It’s a good idea not to delete or throw away any parts of your earlier drafts—keep them somewhere, in case. (For computer work, make a copy before you start changing it.)

Don’t worry about ‘overworking’ a piece until you’ve revised it at least three times. An overworked essay is a rare and seldomsighted creature.

Strange though it seems, revising can actually be the best part of writing. You’ve done the hard work—you’ve actually created an essay out of thin air. You don’t have to do that again. Now you can enjoy tinkering with it, adding here, cutting there—getting the whole thing as good as you can make it.

Six Steps to Revising an Essay

1. Make a copy of the first draft

• This is so you can scribble on this one to your heart’s content.
• Space it generously—then you can read it easily.

2. Read it through pretending that someone else wrote it

• Don’t stop and fix things.
• If something sounds wrong, just mark it with a squiggle on this first reading.
• Don’t stop to work out why it sounds wrong.

3. Consider making cuts

Ask yourself:

• Is this essay longer than required?
• Have I padded it to make it up to length?
• Have I waffled on pompously and got tangled up in long, complex sentences?
• Have I repeated myself?
• Have I included material that doesn’t connect to the assignment?

If so, write CUT against each squiggle that flags repetition, long-windedness or irrelevance.

4. Consider adding something

Ask yourself:

• Have I assumed that my readers know something I haven’t actually said?
• Have I left out a step in my argument?
• Have I left out an important piece of information?
• Have I failed to show how something is relevant to the topic?
• Have I got ideas that seem disconnected, and need to be joined?
• Have I failed to give supporting material for a point I’ve made?
• Do I need to add a GOS or a GFS?

If so, write ADD.

5. Consider moving parts around

Ask yourself:

• Is this information relevant, but not in a logical sequence?
• Is this idea relevant, but not a step in this particular argument?
• Have I introduced information at the wrong time (too early, before its relevance can be shown: too late, after the reader needed it)?
• For a two-pronged essay, have I chosen the best way of arranging the material?

Write MOVE against the parts that need it.

6. What if you can see a problem but not how to fix it?

Ask yourself:

• Is it that I can’t bring myself to cut something out?
• >>> Solution: tell yourself a little white lie: you’ll find a place for it ‘in a minute’.
• Is it that I can’t think of anything to add?
• >>> Solution: go back to the idea-starters in Step One, especially research. Also, go back to the assignment and read it again.
• Am I afraid I’ll get into a worse muddle when I move things around?
• >>> Solution: cut the essay up, physically, and spread the bits out on the table. Then sticky-tape the pieces together in the new order. Primitive, but it works!
• Are the ideas in the right order but still sound jerky?
• >>> Solution: use connecting phrases such as ‘On the other hand…’, ‘In addition…’.
• Is it that I can’t think of a GOS?
• >>> Solutions:
• look for a brief, punchy quote to open with;
• open with a question;
• open with a dramatic contrast or contradiction.
• Is it that I can’t think of a GFS?
• >>> Solutions:
• If you haven’t done so for a GOS, end with a strong quote;
• refer back to the assignment—not by quoting the whole thing, but by using one or two words from it.
• Be prepared to have several attempts at a GOS and a GFS.

IN THIS SERIES ABOUT THE ESSAY WRITING PROCESS:

Previously… Stage One: Getting Ideas > Stage Two:Choosing Ideas > Step Three: Outling > Step Four: Drafting

The next one (and the last one)… Step Six: Editing