Are You A Narcissist?

 

Messages about loving yourself, being confident, and comfort­able in your skin bombard us. We are constantly given mantras like “everyone is special” and “you have to love yourself first.” From an early age, classroom teachers use positive reinforcement to bolster the self-image of every student. The importance of having a healthy ego is undeniable, but are we raising our chil­dren to think they are so wonderful that they require excessive attention, affirmation, admiration, and adulation? Can we all be that great? Do we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we ignore others? Are we developing into a nation of narcissists?

Are You A Narcissist?

We are taught that self-confidence, pride, and assertiveness are admirable traits. So how do you know when you’ve crossed the line? Psychological experts believe you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder if you answer yes to at least five of the following:

• Do you exaggerate your accomplishments and talents and feel that everything you do is important?
• Do you only associate with other distinguished people and institutions?
• Do you exploit others if it will benefit you?
• Do others describe you as condescending and arrogant?
• Do you frequently fantasize about having power, prestige, brilliance, beauty, or the “perfect” romance?
• Do you require excessive and ongoing admiration from others?
• Do you feel you deserve special treatment and feel others should comply with your expectations?
• Are you apathetic about the feelings or concerns of others?
• Are you envious of other people’s accomplishments and material belongings?

Narcissists love themselves to the exclusion of others. Narcis­sistic Personality Disorder gets its name from the ancient Greek story of Narcissus, the handsome young man who caught his re­flection in a pond and was so smitten with his own image, he continued to stare until he withered away and died.

continued to stare until he withered away and died.

Do You Know a Narcissist?

While only about 1 percent of the population is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, millions of Americans operate under the influence of narcissism. Take Paul for example. When Paul interviewed for the midlevel management sales job at A2Z Corporation, he seemed like the perfect candidate. Gregarious, outspoken, confident, and assertive during the interview, this former marine was a shoe-in for the job. Paul’s evident charm, enthusiasm for the position, and his head full of ideas seemed like a guaranteed recipe for corporate success. In no time, A2Z Cor­poration offered Paul the job, and he accepted. He quickly became quite a stud around the office. But, as the weeks passed, Paul became impatient and resentful when management failed to implement all of his suggestions. His employees complained that he over­worked them, ignored their ideas, and was condescending and critical of the smallest mistakes. When midlevel managers in other departments received promotions, Paul be­come envious and bitter, openly criticizing the company’s decisions and leadership for not promoting him. A2Z’s final decision regarding Paul was to re­turn him to the ranks of the unemployed.

For many demanding and high-profile occupations, some nar­cissistic traits are helpful, perhaps even crucial, to success. Suc­cessful business leaders, politicians, and professional athletes all exhibit some narcissistic qualities. With this personality trait, a little goes a long way. So how can you tell whether you have what it takes to be a captain of industry or if you’re destined to be a Captain Bligh of the boardroom? Well, sharpen your pen­cils, sit down, and take the Narcissist Test to discover if you’re likely to forget the old sports adage, there’s no “I” in team. (But you can spell “me”!)

THE TEST: HOW NARCISSISTIC ARE YOU?

Give yourself a score that corresponds to your feelings or behavior:  1 point – Very Uncharacteristic; 2 points Uncharacteristic; 3 points Neutral; 4 points Characteristic; 5 points – Very Characteristic.

1. I can become absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares, or my relations to others.

2. My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.

3. When I enter a room, I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.

4. I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.

5. I feel I have enough on my hands without worrying about other people’s troubles.

6. I feel I am temperamentally different from most people.

7. I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.

8. I easily become wrapped up in my own interest and forget the existence of others.

9. I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.

10. I am secretly “put out” or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for my time and sympathy

SCORING YOUR TEST

To find your score, simply add the ten numbers you circled and write your score on the line below.

Your Score __________

Your Score	Level of Narcissism
Less than 20	Self-sacrificing
20–23	Selfless
24–34	Self-aware
35–40	Self-absorbed
More than 40	Self-grandiose

WHAT DOES YOUR SCORE MEAN?

Score of 10 to 23—Heart of Gold

You wear empathy as a badge of honor. You are a kind, caring, deeply nurturing person who always has time for others. When someone needs an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on, that person looks for you. You’re a team player with a heart of gold. People count on your support, reassurance, and help with their problems. You are a great friend. However, be aware that at times others may take advantage of your compassion. Realize that sometimes it is better to put yourself first. If you find that you are being stepped on, overlooked, or just plain ignored, it is time to put yourself first. To do this, emulate someone you ad­mire who is slightly more focused on their own interests. Prac­tice saying “no.”

Score of 24 to 40—The Golden Ruler

Your narcissistic tendencies are about average. You have a healthy balance between being selfish and selfless. You make time for others, but still keep time for you. These qualities make you a good friend. The adage “charity begins at home” suits your personality. While you work well with others in a team set­ting, you take pride when your own contributions are recog­nized. You sympathize with the plight of others and offer helpful advice, but you also remember to be careful and stay the course to your own goals and objectives.

Score of Greater than 40—Fool’s Gold

You can’t be bothered to listen to other people’s sob stories, and frankly, you wish they’d keep their trivial problems to them­selves. In fact, it is difficult for you to fully empathize with and comprehend the feelings and beliefs of others. You believe team settings allow weak-minded individuals to hide their incompe­tence while taking credit for your ideas and innovations. You are too important, and life is too short to waste your time dealing with people who aren’t in a position to help you get ahead. You tend to have an over-inflated sense of your own importance. The higher your score, the more you share these attitudes.

Recognize that you can’t help yourself if you only help yourself. People will see through you. Yes, first impressions are im­portant, but lasting impressions are what matters. For you to walk a mile in another person’s shoes, you may need to take small steps. Volunteer your services—without taking credit. Do­nate to a charity—anonymously. Try to see a concern from someone’s point of view where you have no stake in the out­come.

If you scored 40 or more, you may not realize this, but your friends and colleagues will respect you more if you stop being envious of others and give them credit for their efforts. You do not need to embellish your success to be admired. Share the recognition more, and you will be better liked. People respond to generosity of wealth and spirit.


Taken from Are You Crazy? - 18 Scientific Quizzes To Test Yourself By Andrew N. Williams [2008]

Another article on this topic HERE.

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